Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Randomize
