in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
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I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
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Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
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