im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Randomize
