she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
he told me I talked like a deaf person
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
