Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
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