he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
