oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Randomize
