I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
