im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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