he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
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Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
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The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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