we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Randomize
