I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
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