I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
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