do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
FUCK WHALES
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
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