Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
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I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
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Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
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