I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
