I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize
