Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
