I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
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