Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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