I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
