Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
he puts the penis in happiness.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Randomize
