I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
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