we're blogging at a bar
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Randomize
