i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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