Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I deserve to be covered in dicks
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
