absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
