Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
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