And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
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I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
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Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
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