Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Do you remember whose house we're in?
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Randomize