Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
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