I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
