Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize
