Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Randomize
