I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
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