apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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