My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
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