dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
should my penis look like a turkey
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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