I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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