this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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