All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
Randomize
