I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
