Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
