you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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