if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
