i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Randomize
