Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
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