Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
