Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
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