12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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