I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
