I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
