Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
