What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize
