hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Randomize
