well I can't set my house on fire every night
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
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