theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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