Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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