I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
