Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
