You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Randomize
