that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize
