Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
