dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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