physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize