where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Randomize
