I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
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