bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Randomize
