Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
