Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Randomize
