So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Randomize
